And a few nights ago, he almost got shot dead by cops. He lives far away from here (here=Paris, there=Latin America). And I know things like that often happen where he lives, so I really want him to be here with me...the only way I can help him escape danger is have him back here...but I need MONEY.
So yesterday night, after he told me what had happened, I could manage to find some sleep.
When I eventually feel asleep, I've had that very comforting dream of him holding me in his arms...but it was not now, it was something like a few years from now, cause I seemed to be 20 and not 17, and he seemed almost his age (knowing that he looks younger than he actually is, that makes 3 years older than now also).
So we were in bed and I think I was in the begining of pregnancy, hugging him. We had our own home, near the ocean in Euskadi and I think I had decorated it cause it looked exactly the way I'd like my home to be. All I could hear was his breath and the ocean roar...we were not really asleep, I can't tell if it was early in the morning or latein the night, so it means I don't know if we were waking up or falling asleep...there were ashtrays and a bottle of water, a bottle of soymilk and his pot on the ground, next to our bed. It seemed so real, it was so sweet...and I feel like it's something that might happen someday, really, it was like no other dream...
Now, I'm not all that scared and sad and freaked out like yesterday night...this dream did me a lot of good I guess.
If only I could live in that dream for real.